Kyrbi0's ~Flavor Text Request Thread~

[Kyrbi0]

Current Requests

• The Dark One - Finished (I think)
• Ignitedstar - Worked on it. Meh?
• Ammorth?

Hidden information: Not sure this is the right forum?...

Hello, I'm here to offer up my services as a Flavor Text/Tooltip/Mini-Description writer. Can't draw, model, or trigger, but I can write. :P

--EDIT (Feb-18-2009)--After seeing the last few contests, I would also like to include "English Spellchecker" in there. If you want a proficient English-speaker to go through any sort of text (i.e. tooltip --> flavor text --> paragraph) and check for Spelling or Grammatical errors, hit me up.

Specifically, if you have some [text] that you would like spruced up (see example), I'd be happy to try my hand at it. What I don't want to see is "hey, man, can you make all the tooltips for this totally awexome new [fill-in-the-blank] I'm making cuz thatd be cool"

As an example of my work, I give you:

1 Originally Posted by Random Poster Once an evil naga, Varash had quite a few experiences in his younger days. Now being at his 722th year in this world, he is extremely wise. A after he got abandoned at the Tomb of Sargaras, he figured more than just war and destruction; time. Time, being the most powerful manipulator of everything, he mastered the ability to be out of time. Now, being old, he is weak in body, though he still masters the ability to use the time to overwhelm his enemies. A deadly opponent, even though he may seem easy to destroy. Originally Posted by Kyrbi0 Once possessed of more violent tendencies, Varash the [insert class name] began life as a proud Highborne. Now in his seventh century, his seething rage has cooled into a calculated malevolence. The collapse of the Well of Eternity found Varash trapped in the forgotten Tomb of Sargeras, transformed and alone. Over the centuries, his keen intellect has grown profoundly. He grew accustomed to his serpentine form and began to study the artifacts in the Tomb, noting their agelessness. Through some incomprehensible method, he began to learn and master the art of manipulating time itself. At his advanced age, the flesh is weak yet the mind is willing and strong. Despite his apparent frailty, he wields the raw forces of time to overwhelm his enemies, ceasing their very existence with a wave of the hand.

~~~

Anyway, if anyone wants to take advantage, rep me now that's cool. I can't promise any solidarity in my output; I mean, school/life/church/etc must take priority. :/ However, I'm here.

[Hunter of Shadows]

Writing? Dude seirously, no one is going to take YOU seirously if all you offer is tooltip creation, any mapmaker worth a damn can do that on his own

This is the wrong forum, if you really want to help with projects and etc, get good at triggering, or skinning or modeling, and finally at map design (i.e able to figure out what is good in a map and balanced and cool etc etc).

Yea you can write, so what? I can to, needless to say, I apoligize if I came off as rude(probably) and I didn't mean any rudeness I'm just very blunt, this was some advice, that is all.

[Ammorth]

I did have an idea for a project (specifically an RPG) that I would like to setup a decent story for it, but I have since run short on real-time and had to really turn it back. If you would be interested in maybe helping me out with the filling of the main points of the story, let me know. Keep in mind, I do not guarentee the project will be completed, but if you are looking for something to do...

[Ignitedstar]

Hey, writing is a good thing. It allows you write things down that you otherwise forget. Besides, the proper team always has a script that needs to be written, a writer that needs to write what needs to be written, and an editor that needs to look at what is written.

Originally Posted by Hunter of Shadows

Dude seirously, no one is going to take YOU seirously if all you offer is tooltip creation, any mapmaker worth a damn can do that on his own

Oh, I wish... Anyone can write, but not everyone can write well. No- I'm not talking about you guys... It's just, after you do a lot of editing, it really shows. Trust me on that.

Although, Hunter is right. If you want to offer your services as a person who wants to help others as in a project or assignment or what-not, I believe that you would have to make a thread in the Freelance and Requests subforum within the Project Recruitment section. Although, personally, I don't mind it being here. The mods will have the final say.

[Kyrbi0]

@Hunter of Shadows:

Originally Posted by HoS

Writing? Dude seirously, no one is going to take YOU seirously if all you offer is tooltip creation, any mapmaker worth a damn can do that on his own

Anyone can do it, but can they do it well, is the question. :P

Originally Posted by HoS

This is the wrong forum, if you really want to help with projects and etc, get good at triggering, or skinning or modeling, and finally at map design (i.e able to figure out what is good in a map and balanced and cool etc etc).

I can trigger semi-effectively (in GUI), have Magos/Oinkerwinkles (learning to geomerge), and technically, I've done some form of "map design" for 5+ years. (mainly creating custom races and/or heroes). Also, while I haven't "tested" my terraining abilities or shown them to anyone in particular, I feel I can make a passable terrain as well.

Originally Posted by HoS

Yea you can write, so what? I can to, needless to say, I apoligize if I came off as rude(probably) and I didn't mean any rudeness I'm just very blunt, this was some advice, that is all.

Thanks for recognizing your rudeness. :P


@Ammorth:

Originally Posted by Ammorth

I did have an idea for a project (specifically an RPG) that I would like to setup a decent story for it, but I have since run short on real-time and had to really turn it back. If you would be interested in maybe helping me out with the filling of the main points of the story, let me know. Keep in mind, I do not guarentee the project will be completed, but if you are looking for something to do...

Lol, welcome to my life. I don't need a guarantee, dude.
~Now, if this is something that takes several hours/days, and lots of research... Then maybe I'll start wanting some insurance. :P But more than likely not.

Overall, sounds like fun + doable (though not anytime in the next couple weeks... (?), because I've gotten behind on schooling and my own projects :P). Just a disclaimer, though; I'm not sure I can vouch for my "storyline" writing abilities. I've only just begin entertaining the concepts of contemplating the musing of thinking about my campaign storylines, and frankly, everything I come up with sounds too complex. :/

But hit me with what ya got. (in time)


@Ignitedstar

Originally Posted by Ignitedstar

Oh, I wish... Anyone can write, but not everyone can write well. No- I'm not talking about you guys... It's just, after you do a lot of editing, it really shows. Trust me on that.

True 'dat.

Originally Posted by Ignitedstar

Although, Hunter is right. If you want to offer your services as a person who wants to help others as in a project or assignment or what-not, I believe that you would have to make a thread in the Freelance and Requests subforum within the Project Recruitment section. Although, personally, I don't mind it being here. The mods will have the final say.

Yeah, in all honesty I wasn't sure of where to post it, so I went with the forum less-traveled. (lulz).

[Ammorth]

Originally Posted by Kyrbi0

Lol, welcome to my life. I don't need a guarantee, dude.
~Now, if this is something that takes several hours/days, and lots of research... Then maybe I'll start wanting some insurance. :P But more than likely not.

Overall, sounds like fun + doable (though not anytime in the next couple weeks... (?), because I've gotten behind on schooling and my own projects :P). Just a disclaimer, though; I'm not sure I can vouch for my "storyline" writing abilities. I've only just begin entertaining the concepts of contemplating the musing of thinking about my campaign storylines, and frankly, everything I come up with sounds too complex. :/

But hit me with what ya got. (in time)

I don't plan for this to be tight scheduled, just something that slowly moves along until I have time to jump it from behind and wrestle it into a decent rpg. I personally am also behind in school and should actually be studying for a mid-term tomorrow as I write this.

The storyline is, in a nut-shell, complete. It is not yet on paper but I could if needed. The stuff I really need is all the in-between filler. I don't want to do too much until I can find limitations to the rpg though (like locations, size, situations, etc). It is something I'm still mulling over in my head, but if you are interested, I can set you up with something within the next couple of weeks, and you can plug away at it however fast you want.

[Kyrbi0]

Originally Posted by Ammorth

I personally am also behind in school and should actually be studying for a mid-term tomorrow as I write this.

= Kindred spirit. :P

Originally Posted by Ammorth

The storyline is, in a nut-shell, complete. It is not yet on paper but I could if needed. The stuff I really need is all the in-between filler. I don't want to do too much until I can find limitations to the rpg though (like locations, size, situations, etc). It is something I'm still mulling over in my head, but if you are interested, I can set you up with something within the next couple of weeks, and you can plug away at it however fast you want.

1. So is it on the computer (thus post-able), or all in your head? :P
2. Can you give me an example of "in-between filler"?
3. Sure. Couple of weeks (barring extra work) sounds cool.

[Ammorth]

1) All in my head
2) I have the basic ideas of how I want the story to flow. Like the main surprise twists, the start, the end, etc. The stuff I don't have is like places, names and stuff leading to and from the twists. These are usually called fillers as they are part of the story, but are not "required" to understand the main part of the story. They are required though, in the sense a story isn't just the first page, last page and a few middle pages which have the major plot points.
3) Alright, Ill look at starting to write out my ideas and hopefully I can get them to you within a reasonable time. I'm still toying with a few things though, so expect changes. Also (when you get it that is) feel free to express your opinion on the ideas and even change some where you see fit.

[Kyrbi0]

1. Ah. That might make it hard to edit. :P
2. Ohh... 'K then.
3. "Reasonable time" my foot. It's Wc3; whenever you feel like it. :P

[The Dark One]

KyrbiO, your writing style is impressive and I am very interested in your ability since it seams that you enjoy it, which is a very important thing.

I am planning a large scale project which I intend to show to Blizzard and hopefully, with your aid, get them to add it to the game lore (or even to the game itself), I have every thing planned and can send you drafts of the story and lore of the components of the project as long as you agree to keep them a secrete until the project is submitted.

If people don't appreciate your ability, then use it to make some thing impressive and show them how great it is, or just ignore them .

[Kyrbi0]

Originally Posted by The Dark One

KyrbiO, your writing style is impressive and I am very interested in your ability since it seams that you enjoy it, which is a very important thing.

Why thank you. :P Yes, I enjoy writing; esp. if I can "get in the mode". Like right now; I have to write a ~4 page paper. Bleh. But if I can just get going, and build up some steam, it shouldn't be so bad... Even though it's due in 4 days... And I've put it off for over a week... Yeah. :/
:P

Originally Posted by The DO

I am planning a large scale project which I intend to show to Blizzard and hopefully, with your aid, get them to add it to the game lore (or even to the game itself), I have every thing planned and can send you drafts of the story and lore of the components of the project as long as you agree to keep them a secrete until the project is submitted.

I will make no comment as to the feasibility of you submitting something to Blizzard. (lol, self-reference.)

I can keep it a secret, but I'm confused; if everything's planned out, what do you need me for? :P

[The Dark One]

I know how you feel since I have the same problem. My advice is that you do it while thinking of the relief you'll feel after you finish it (like the relief you feel after taking off a very tight shoe).

As for the feasibility of the submitting, it doesn't matter whether thy accept it or not, if thy do then Yahooooo, if thy don't then I'll add a couple of campaigns to complete the story which is very awesome and logical following Warcraft IIIs storyline.

No need for the confusion, it's very obvious that my writing style is not as strong as yours, in this site where writing is the mean of communication ones writing ability is the determinate factor for ones ability to gather and efficiently direct a team, and even if I have everything planed, a plan that is hardly presentable and lacking the artistic touch will not convince any one of joining the project or playing the game ( I.e. I need you to enhance the scripts I write and make them more attractive, you have the talent for that and I can use it, as the old saying goes " even if you can make bread, let the bread maker do it") and I assure you that it will be a really impressive work if you rewrite my work in as good a style as the one in your example.

[Kyrbi0]

Originally Posted by The Dark One

I assure you that it will be a really impressive work if you rewrite my work in as good a style as the one in your example.

Don't play me up too much; I'd hate to disappoint. Besides, it's one thing to write or rewrite tooltips or flavor text, and quite another to re-edit/format/write whole storylines. I'm willing to give it a try, is all I'm saying.

[BBDino]

Your second example is horrendously overwritten and is, as a consequence, almost impossible to read through from start to finish.

My quick rewrite:

I know of a place where the most pleasant aroma is the stench of putrid flesh and burning bones. A place where the crackling of the inferno is barely audible over blood-curdling screams of lost souls. The sights of this vast and malevolent empire will drive a man to his knees and haunt your every waking moment. Overhead winged horrors - colossal beasts with rotting flesh dripping off of their bones - oversee this domain of misery and torment.

In this place one must work endlessly; excruciating pain awaits those who pause. Your hope and your joy is lost, siphoned away by this place. The agonies of normal life seem a paradise. You will never escape.

Liberate tutame ex inferis.



Notice i've trimmed a lot of your wasted prose: more description (i.e. adjectives and adverbs) is not always better.

[Tide-Arc Ephemera]

Originally Posted by BBDino

more description (i.e. adjectives and adverbs) is not always better.

Despite what they teach in schools, this is true... I don't understand why they teach to overwrite with adjectives as opposed to getting straight to the point.