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Old 04-01-2003, 09:33 PM   #16
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------
DIABLO II VERSION HISTORY
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- PATCH 1.10
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

2003-APR-1

Major Changes:
- Baal in hell mode now has 1 more hit point
- Removed Corpe. Now your shit just spills everywhere
- Barbarian now starts with 5 strength
- Zombies in normal now do 800-1000 damage
- Whenever you say a curse word (ex: f*ck), you get an instant permanent ban. Your character is also deleted
- Added the new chicken level. To acess this, kill decard kain. The town you're in gets scared and opens up a portal.
- When you die, you lose all your gold
- Added new crash bug. This activates whenever you step on a crack
- Removed all uniques. Some were too powerful and we(the blizzard staff) started removing a few. Then it was like eating potato chips and before we knew it, all the uniques were gone!
- Deckard Cain now sells drugs to you
- Added act 6. You start in an area, surrounded with ranged enemies that do 10,000-30,000 damage. Good luck!
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Old 04-01-2003, 10:12 PM   #17
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Who the hell cares about this patch Starcraft Broodwar just got another patch yesterday post that!
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Old 04-02-2003, 12:03 AM   #18
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I don't believe things until I read them from Blizzard. Unfortunately I checked Blizzard before wc3campaigns today... ;)
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Old 04-02-2003, 01:00 AM   #19
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THAT PATCH SCREWS THE GAME UP COMPLETELY. IT IS THE SIGN OF THE COMING APOCOLYPSE!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 0_o
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Old 04-02-2003, 06:25 PM   #20
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does anybody here work at blizzard? if so, can you tell us if blizzard has even started making a patch 1.10? have they even thought of it?
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Old 04-02-2003, 09:07 PM   #21
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Diablo 2 1.10 patch is due out by E3 in May. Of course, they originally hoped to have it done by 2 Thanksgivings ago, so it might be subjected to even more delays (hell, what harm is another year gonna do?)
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Old 04-02-2003, 09:11 PM   #22
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Does anyone actullay give a damn about diablo?
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Old 04-02-2003, 11:18 PM   #23
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I must say that I still care about diablo, and this update just proves that blizzard is still working hard! Its no wonder that their games are so great. They spend time doing stuff like this for us and well *sniff* it makes me *sniff* just want to *sniff* laugh HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
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Old 04-02-2003, 11:37 PM   #24
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------
DIABLO II VERSION HISTORY
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
- PATCH 1.30
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

2003-APR-2

New changes in this version:

All characters have new "Smack Talk Feature"
All characters have been given additional skills and spells.

Necromancer: Necrophelia - the Necromancer rapes a dead corpse and recovers life.

Amazon: Thongified - the Amazon dons a thong and the enemies fall over dead when they see her thunder thighs.

Barbarian: Shrinkage - a new warcry, the Barbarian yells a mighty roar, the enemies look down, and all promptly faint.

Druid: Pimpin' - creates up to 8 whores who make money for the Druid. Enemies are stunned by their ugliness

Assasin: Up In Here - a psycic skill that the Assasin uses to call out to all the enemies for a massive party with kegs and disco music.

Paladin: Goody Two Shoes - Tells on the enemies to god and he promptly smites them. Paladin's social status is decreased for up to 5 years.

Sorceress: Sexified - The sorceress begins to smoke.
Sex Change - the sorceress becomes a man forever.
Do not put points into this skill.

Addition changes:
Enemies are now able to say what they are thinking.
Game rating is changed from M to Adult only.
All character models "improved" in a manner of speaking.
Sometimes, Griswald will appear for no reason, screaming "AYE THE AXE!!! TIS A GOOD WEAPON MATEY!!!!!"
Scams now allowed and encouraged.
SOJ drop rate upped to 800% on act 1 enemies.
Cats and other strange animals will sometimes appear in the Pandimonium Fortress.
Made Charsi less intimidating.
Gheed is now a midget, and has a monkey on his shoulder.
The campfire in act 1 has been replaced with a bong.
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Old 04-02-2003, 11:51 PM   #25
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Quote:
Originally posted by Reclaimer

Amazon: Thongified - the Amazon dons a thong and the enemies fall over dead when they see her thunder thighs.


Um...what exactly is thunder thighs supposed to mean anyways?
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Old 04-03-2003, 02:20 AM   #26
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cottage cheese legs? You've never heard someone call it that before? It means she has huge nasty thighs.
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Old 04-04-2003, 12:51 AM   #27
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Did you guys look at the date??? April 1.... figure this out guys..
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Old 04-05-2003, 03:10 PM   #28
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so is there a patch or not. i dont care actually, i dont even have diablo2 anymore, im just asking.

oh yeah gj or something :ggani: :ggani: woot
 
Old 04-06-2003, 01:35 AM   #29
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For the last time Much like the Comic Strip it was an APRIL FOOLS JOKE. I THINK I EVEN SAID IT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE POST.
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Old 04-06-2003, 01:37 AM   #30
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We realise that, it's just that we like to make fun of Blizzard and Diablo.
 
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