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Old 09-26-2007, 02:56 AM   #1
Hydrolisk
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 321

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Hydrolisk is on a distinguished road (11)

Default The Final Days

The Final Days.

-
A story told and narrated by back-forth conversations and *action lines.*
The first 3 sections are compiled from a different thread.

*This is supposed to be a parody/comical work, even if you don't find it funny.*

The end draws near...

-

*A man learns of a planned ambush, and tries to reach the authorities. But when he arrives, he is taken by evil enforcers...*

-

"WHAT DO WE DO? THE WORLD IS ENDING!"
"Sir, sir, I need you to CALM *pushes man into chair* down!"
*Cuffs insane person*
"I'm telling you! They have spies! Eyes and ears everywhere!"
"There are no DotA spies."
"What are you talking about!?"
"There are no DotA spies."
"WTF?"
"There are no DotA spies."
"NO, YOU, you... yo-"
"There are no DotA spies."
*Man falls asleep*
"Make sure he is... disposed of. Our attack must not be warned of."

-


*Several days later, on the fields of Battle.Net*
-

"DEFEND THE MAIN GATES! To the left! Form ranks you fools, the newbs are flanking us!"
"Polearms ready for action!"
"Bring out the laser guns!"
"Sir, we only have death rays."
"HOLD THE LINES! DO NOT LET B.NET FALL! Only death rays?! We need everything we can get our hands on!"
*A part of the wall crashes down, and a horde of ghouls come rushing out*
"They're coming from the south! Archers, fire!"
"Sir, casualty levels are rising! Dead count: 39 000!"
"Send the Gundams in first. Get Optimus Prime to lead them! Tell him to lead his group to charge the ghouls and drive through them. If they can't escape, then DotA will escape!"
*The captain shivers*
"CHARGE OPTIMUS! SPEAR THROUGH! Company 64! Rallly to me and flank the ghouls! Machine gun support needed! Zeratul, get your invisible ass over here and take over for me!"

-

*Two armies stand a mile apart within a canyon, a chokepoint. A vital one.*
"We cannot lose this battle men! Lest the beast of B.Net shall be released!" (My Olde English sucks, I know.)
"This battle WILL be won! FIGHT! FIGHT FOR BLIZZARD! FIGHT FOR FREEDOM! FIGHT, FOR BATTLE.NET!!!"
*A huge army charges down to another huge army of ghouls and treants*
"Goku, do your thing! Drive through their left flank! Pikachu, destroy that Spirit Tower!"
"Sir, battle has been drawn, what is your plan now?"
"Do not question me soldier! Ready the Torque Bowers and the Shotty/Saw combo Alpha-Omega battalion!"
"Laser batteries powered up!"
"Good. Send in the Death Star!"
"Sir! Look! A flying raven just shot a red lightning blast at the Death Star!"
"Damn it, it wasn't even fully paid off... And that's a crow! And it's holding a... red stick?"
"What now?"
"Send in Osama! He can deal with them!"
*Osama bursts out of a canyon wall, armed with huge-ass gunz.*
"ARGHHHH AHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
*All his gunz are on full power at max speeds*
"Sir! Look! Some meat thing just threw a hook at Osama!"
*Osama is impaled by a meat hook, but he bravely shoots on*
"ARGGHHH AHHHHHHH!!!!"
*He empties fifty billion clips before he is eaten by a huge meat thing, now bigger*
"High yield explosives on that thing! Ballistas! Aim at that meat thing! FIRE!"
*The meat thing seems to instantly asplode when a million bolts and bombs kill it*
*Moral boost! The leader's army gets +5 damage!*
"WE WILL WIIIINNNNN!!!!"
*What will happen? Will they really win? Find out next time, on BATTLE.NET ZEE!*

-

*At that precise moment, as the leader's army cheers, a blur rushes up to the leader and turns him into a pin cushion for burning arrows.*
"Sir, sir, sir? Sir, your dead sir. Sir. You're- You're dead sir. Sir? Sir, answer me, you're dead. Sir? Siiirrr.... SIR! Sirrrr??? Hmmm..."
*The army loses the +5 bonus damage and is demoralized, and now has an attack rating of 1.*
"SIR, that skeleton thing with a burning head just turned you into a pin cushion for burning arrows!... SIR! WHY WON'T YOU ANSWER! RAAWWWGHHH!!!!"
*The lieutenant goes from Champion stage to Ultimate.*
"DUHN DUHN DUHN DUUUHHHNNN!!!"
*The super sidekick crushes the burning skeleton thing.*
"ARGH! I'LL CRUSH YOU ALL!"
*The army is remoralized and gets an attack rating bonus of +50 and an armour bonus of +1.*
"Spider-Man, Iron Man, flank right and attack from behind! Protoss Dragoons and Terran Marines, cover fire for them! Zerglings, run the front lines down!
We need snipers, on the double!"
*Hordes of ghouls and treants supported by Druids and Necromancers rush to meet the rows and rows of unending rows of Zerglings, both sides gaining and losing several feet at a time.*
"res on leader plz priest!!!11"
*A priest casts a spell, and the original leader the the B.Net Defense is alive and well again.*
"Sir, we're winning!"
"Good job Captain!"
"Yes, sir! Thank you, sir!"
"Zerg Hydralisks, ambush!"
*A staggering amount of Hydralisks pop out of the ground, and starts firing at the horde of Sentinel and Scourge forces.*
"Sir, we gaining more feet than lost! We might be able to push them back to the Frozen Throne USA-1 strait! If we do, the strait will be able to hold them off long enough for more reinforcements!"
"Captain, don't think we might even have reinforcements. This army may very well be the last thing we have!"
"Sir, what do you suggest we do?"
"I think... we need the Bane. The Hallowed forces are already on their way..."
"Are you sure sir?"
"We need everything to win this war! HACKERS, ATTACK!"
*A large amount of pixels suddenly drive towards the Sentinel and Scourge forces, carrying away the very being of the treants and ghouls and other monstrosities.*
"Hackers?"
"Didn't I tell you we need EVERYTHING?"
"Yes, sir. Wait... is that Diablo?"
"Yes, for eight billion gold, I was able to hire him."
"Eight billion sir?"
"We have supporters, but not too many who can actually fight."
"Sir, dead count: Five hundred thousand million dead. And counting. What will we do?"
"Fight on, my friend. Fight on."
*What will happen next? Found out on the next time of... BATTLE.NET ZEE!*

-

*Within the shallow Frozen Throne USA-1 Strait.*
"Core Warlord battleships! In postition!"
"Sir, the battleships are in position."
"Draenai healers, at the back!"
"Draenai healers are at the back."
"Is the Terran Thor finished yet?"
"Not yet, sir. The SCV's are getting help from Blood Elf builders, and the speed of normal building is increased even more by Undead acolytes."
"Good. Has the Hallowed Order arrived yet?"
"Yes, and in position."
"The army of 300?"
"Sorry, sir. I tried to get a hold of them on the King's cellphone, but current phone plans don't support living-to-Hell phone calls."
"Damn. What of the Bane of Eternity?"
"They're behind the Siege Machines, who are behind the Order. They and the Order tried to fight, but I was able to separate them."
"Good work. What about our scouts?"
"The Maidens of the Spear reports the enemy at 500 metres."
"And our Covenant Jackal snipers upon the two cliffs?"
"The last few are finishing their battery charging, so yes. They are in position, sir."
"Hm... We are close to the IceFrog's lair. Soon, the Final Days will be upon us."
"It's been good working with you, sir."
"I'd give you a medal, but the end of the world draws near."
*Will the leader's forces be able to push the DotA forces back to the IceFrog's lair? Or will the battle end in defeat? What will happen next? Found out on the next time of... BATTLE.NET ZEE!*

-

To be continued.
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