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Old 05-21-2005, 11:03 PM   #1
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Eh, this was a poem I made not to long ago, and I've always wanted to make my poems better. (My grammar sucks)

Feedback would be appreciated. :)

Ashes of the Wake

A gift to his favored creations...
It sat upon the hilltops,
And surrenderered it's wings,
The phoenix fell beneath the ash,
And gave it all away,
To him...
The one who would do it...
The world fell to ashes as he held it high,
...The sky shrouded in darkness,
Locking away the one who could save us...
Save us from this cell...
Seeking something which isn't real...

Seeking the energy,
To get back up,
Just barely breathing,
Keeping alive,
So close your eyes,
...And seek the energy

Walking the path,
Waiting for you,
Now hold your hands out,
And wait for me...

This fire consumes me,
And the only who can save me,
Is beneath the sand,
While the world collapses

Seeking eternity,
Within you,
Waiting for you,
Breathing life,
Sitting here,
In tears...
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